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French-English Translation of
Text Basil

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Term:
Text: Basil  
by Hela1 (UN), 2015-03-25, 20:21  like dislike  Spam?  
Dear teachers,

I would be grateful if you could cross out the translations that do not fit, and make some comments about my work.

FRENCH TEXT:

Dans la salle, John Bamton, très pâle, faisait les cent pas. Basil, debout, regardait tranquillement la carte d’Angleterre.
- L’élève n’est pas arrivé ? demanda Paul.
- C’est Basil, dit John d’une voix blanche. Hier soir, il a prononcé des paroles indignes d’en gentleman. Il doit être châtié.
L’enfant avança, regardant son père, comme pour lui rappeler quelque chose. John ajouta :
- Il a demandé que ce soit vous qui serviez de témoin, parce qu’il vous aime mieux que tous les autres professeurs.
Paul avait la gorge serrée, et il ne sut que répondre ; il tendit à Basil sa main que l’enfant serra très fort, levant vers lui des yeux affectueux et disant :
- Je sais que vous êtes mon ami.
Bamton avait pris la canne longue et souple, et la laissait presque toucher le parquet ; il était blême.
Basil s’approcha d’une table, y appuya le ventre, et se pencha complètement, les mains posées sur le dossier du banc.
John fit vibrer un instant la canne dans sa main, comme s’il hésitait ; puis, d’un geste brusque, il ramena la baguette sifflante. Sous le coup, l’enfant se redressa immédiatement, le visage rouge, la poitrine gonflée, perdant haleine ; il avait des larmes plein les yeux, mais pas une ne coula sur ses joues. Et de ses deux petites mains, il se frottait pour étaler la douleur. Son père avait détourné la tête.
Au bout de quelques minutes, sans qu’une parole eût été prononcée, Basil revint s’appuyer sur la table. Une seconde fois, la canne frappa durement ; l’enfant poussa un cri et fit un bond. Tout son petit corps tremblait.
Paul vit alors le père chanceler. Il s’approcha, mais Bamton s’était repris, et s’adossait à la chaire. Faisant un geste de la main, comme pour écarter quelque chose, il dit à son fils :
- Rentrez, rentrez à la maison.

TRANSLATION:

John Bamton, very pale, was walking/pacing up and down the room. Basil was standing, looking quietly at the map of England.
[Is the past progressive better than the simple past here?]

“Isn’t the pupil/boy here yet?” asked Paul.
“It’s Basil,” said John in a toneless voice. “Yesterday evening he said things
① unworthy of a gentleman.
② one would not expect from a gentleman.
He must be chastised/chastened/corrected.”

The child came/moved forward while looking at his father as if to remind him of something. John went on:
①“He asked that you should serve as a witness
②“He wants you as witness
because he likes you more than any other teacher.”

Paul had a lump in his throat and
① found himself completely at a loss for words.
② did know what to say.
He held out his hand to the child who gripped it tightly, looked up at him affectionately and said:

“I know that you are my friend.”

Bamton was now holding the long flexible cane with its tip almost touching the floor; he was pale.

Basil came up to a desk, pressed his stomach against it and bent over it with his hands on the back of the seat.

① John held the cane aloft in a quivering hand as if he hesitated; then, swished it down.
② The cane quivered in John’s hand as though he was hesitating. Then, with a sweep of the arm, he brought it down with a swish.

The stroke made the child ① stand up instantly / ② start up, his face flushing red, his chest swelled/swollen up, gasping for breath. His eyes were ③ filled/full of tears / ④ brimming with tears but not one run/rolled down his cheeks.
And with his little hands, he rubbed himself to spread the pain. His father
① had turned his head away.
② was looking away.

After a few minutes, without a word being uttered/spoken, Basil bent over the desk again. For the second time the cane hit him hard; the child let out a scream and jumped back. ① His whole little body was trembling/shivering/shaking.
② His little body began to shake all over.

Then, Paul saw Basil’s father falter. He went up to him, but Bamton pulled himself together and lent back against the master’s desk. With a wave of his hand, as if to brush something aside, he told his son :
“Come on! Off you go / Go back home!”

Thank you for your help. I wish you a very nice evening.

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